I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
