Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
