My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
