she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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