Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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