Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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