I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
its liver damage thursday
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Help. Why am I so naked?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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