I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
