Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
