I want to have your abortion
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
