You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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