Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
