The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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