STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
