I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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