Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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