I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
