Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
