FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
