can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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