Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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