I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
