he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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