what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
