Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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