did you get engaged???
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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