So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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