just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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