i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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