Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
