1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
