you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
the liver wants what the liver wants
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
