Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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