A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
