I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
