I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
she was so not down for the gang bang
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
