did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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