I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
