david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
