she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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