either way he was missing a nipple.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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