We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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