Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
