dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
