I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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