the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
