dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
