Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
