I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
