covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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