it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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