You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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